A Glimpse into My Journey

One step at a time.

Renewed Jubilance



This photo challenge could not have come at a more appropriate time.

Today, I finally took the MCAT.  I took a prep course for it this spring semester, and it had been on my mind since… the day I decided to go pre-med.  It has been a rough journey, and each day I doubt myself, wondering if this is really the path for me.

I have always been a studious daughter, striving for A’s on every exam, staying up late to get in that extra hour or two of review, never even contemplating skipping class.

I felt so relieved when I finally graduated from college, glad that, at least for a while, I didn’t need to go through the repetitive process of always working towards the next letter grade.  However, although I had completed all of my pre-requisites, I still had one last exam: the MCAT.

When I began to study for the exam, I still embraced every ounce of motivation I had to hopefully push through one final test.  As the days of pure studying and attending class passed by one by one, I began to question myself again.  Why am I even doing this?  Why am I going down this path?  Would I be happier doing something else?  Is it too late to turn around?  Do I want to keep studying…forever?  Truthfully, I had never sat myself down and pondered these things in my heart.  I just kept going and going, one exam after the next, keeping my eyes on the grand prize.  Now that I actually have time to stop and think, it struck me, maybe this isn’t what I want after all.  The end goal of becoming a physician sounds grand and impressive, but if I despise every second of the journey, what is the purpose?  Where is the meaning?

Despite all of these self-doubts, I nevertheless decided to go ahead and take the exam.  I had stopped studying two months prior to my exam date and just started relaxing, something I hardly did as a student.  My happiness level soared.  I gave myself the possibility of not becoming a physician.  It felt as if a huge burden was suddenly lifted off my chest, my shoulders, my entire body.  I continued to think, I’ve never felt so relieved before.  Am I asking for too much if I want to feel this way…for the rest of my life (at least the majority of the time)?

For the very first time, I went into an exam knowing that I did not study enough for it and purposely not studying enough.  I still wanted to give it a shot.  I was curious as to know how I would end up doing.

It was a wonderful feeling going into the exam feeling absolutely stress-free, when everyone else clearly had a look of panic.  I still didn’t understand all of the passages and questions.  In fact, I guessed on so many questions, I finished almost every section ten minutes early and left earlier than I anticipated.  Might not be good for my score, but oh well.  What’s done is done.  I will think more about my career trajectory at another time.  After I left the testing center, I wore a smile that hadn’t looked this genuine in a long time.  The skies have cleared.  I truly felt jubilant.

Questions: How did you figure out what career you wanted to pursue?  Was it something you knew all along, or did it take many twists and turns?

7 comments on “Renewed Jubilance

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  4. theartofcreativity
    May 27, 2016

    I actually didn’t knew it. I took soo many turns, when I graduated from high school I was thinking in study chemical engineering but that didn’t work out because my test scores. I choose instead study biology at some point I though even left it and go to study art. I started a master’s degree in biology and start my art applications and while working in my portfolio for the application, I was not happy it was like something was missing in my life. Although I did my portfolio I apply instead to master’s degree in biology in another institution and worked for a year when I graduated and now I am in a PhD program. So I believe not all people are the same especially if you like a lot of things. Gaps year are excellent to realize what you really like and make you happy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • fluffysteps
      May 27, 2016

      Wow, your path has taken quite a few turns! I’m taking gap years now, and I’m trying to figure out what I enjoy most. Thanks for sharing your story, and I hope both of us will be able to find our true passions. Best of luck in your PhD program!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. theartofcreativity
    May 27, 2016

    Thanks! I made post of a job series and also working in graduate school series. Although, I am not directing it to medical school some of the advice can work for both. You can look at them as you figure out more about what you would like to do. Hope that helps you while you find your journey. Best of luck! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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